Recently, my (ex)boyfriend broke up with me. His parting word was "sorry." Yesterday, I brought up to my friend some habits of his that were frustrating me. Constantly, throughout the conversation, he apologized for everything.

And I started thinking about apologies and what they mean.

I decided that they are rarely sincere. When someone does something intentionally, especially with the knowledge that it will impact others, and they apologize, I do not find it meaningful. The only time it's truly sincere is if someone makes an honest mistake.

For example, if I were to bump into someone in a crowded area and I apologize, I'm actually sorry. I most certainly didn't intend to hit that person, and I wouldn't want to offend or harm someone I don't know.

If I were to steal money from my friend's house and I apologized to them if they noticed or saw, I'm not sorry for stealing the money. I'm sorry I got caught. If someone makes a decision or takes an action that isn't completely private, it is common sense that it will impact others and they know it.

So, ex-boyfriend, you're not sorry you broke up with me. You wanted to, you knew that I wouldn't take it well. You had every intention to dump me - it wasn't a mistake. You have nothing to be sorry for, although you definitely have something to be ashamed about.

So, 'friend,' you're not sorry that you've been inconsiderate, obnoxious, disrespectful and irresponsible. You knew what you were and weren't doing. You're sorry it pissed me off, you're sorry it pissed me off to the point that I complained and ignored you today. But you are damn well not sincerely sorry for what you did. They weren't mistakes.

You two can't erase the past and move on. What you did was too selfish to be forgiven. Both of you had every intention of doing what you did to me. If I forgave you it would be as meaningless as your pathetic apologies.

This is, of course, not to say that you should hold grudges against everyone if they do something that you didn't like and that wasn't a mistake. But consider what they're actually apologizing for. It could be that they are sorry for hurting you, but not for what they actually did.

(I apologize for the bitchiness of this post, and for the ambiguous details about the ex-boyfriend and the friend.)